Why?

Serena having a go at officials after berating a lines woman in U.S. Open, costing her the semis match. GG.

I've been doing some reflection over the past few days; questioning lots of things, pondering answers to my questions and wondering how I can make it different.

Faith-wise, I have learnt so many things ever since coming to Australia, been given opportunities I would never have back in Malaysia. But, there is a downside: you tend to loose your way very easily as there is a severe lack of support from fellow believers.

Churches in Australia are struggling to keep their members. The average attendance of my church's English congregation is shockingly low: around 50-70 each Sunday. Even more shocking (considering the fact that we most church members have children aged 12+ and we have a total of around 300 members); our Junior Youth Fellowship (JMYF for short) has an average attendance of 12 (2009). And I attribute these low numbers to a total absence of spiritual revival.

Hearts are not stirring...there is no revival...we are a spiritually drained people.

When I read blogs of other believers, I admit, I feel extremely jealous. Why can't I experience what they do? Why is it that they seem to be 'blessed' more than I do or 'experience' God more? Why is it that I can't enjoy God's creation and praise Him wholeheartedly without feeling like its forced? Why is it that - why is it this -

These are the things that's been going through my mind...but I've slowly realized the reason (well, one of the reasons) why. Personally, I think it's because my life right now is too comfortable. Sure, having a comfortable life is great! Before I started working, like all teens, I had to rely on my parents' money, so whenever I wanted something, I'd hope my parents would be nice enough to buy it for me...but the things I wanted had to be limited as I didn't want to put pressure on my parents financially. So, when I start working, I became responsible for what I wanted and my parents have no say in it. Heck, it feels great! But with the money comes the spending. I can be (occasionally; when there's a sale) an impulsive buyer. So I began to rely on myself more and the more I did that, the more my focus was on worldly matters. Anyway, the point I wanted to make was, because our lives are so comfortable, we tend to not rely on God as much to provide. Because we find that we can provide and sustain our happy lives, we don't need God anymore. These things, I mean, these things everyone knows...it's not like I wasn't aware of it... But somehow, you tend to be so caught up with - as Paul describes - 'civilian matters', you lose your focus. And the focus is to be on Christ.

In 2 Timothy 2:1-13, Paul, who was to be executed, writes to Timothy, encouraging him to continue spreading God's word. He urges Tim to be like the soldier who does not get caught up in civilian matters, rather wanting nothing but to please his commander, to be like the athlete who plays by the rules and to be the farmer who is hardworking. Even though Paul was nearing his end, he did not once sound negative, he was extremely positive and was steadfast in his mission to bring the gospel to God's people.

I want to be the soldier. I want to be the athlete. I want to be the farmer.

Are you willing to be the soldier, the athlete and the farmer?

So, if we want spiritual revival, START NOW! Don't wait for some camp or revival service or a disaster (though it does help), start now! Realize your weaknesses, confess them and let the Lord fill you up. It's not a quick process, it's slow, but you gotta keep going! And about the comfort thing, I've decided to take a break, stop work for a while and get back on track with God. I've also started to use my time on public transport more wisely by reading the bible and pray more earnestly. Because nothing else is worth having a strong relationship with God...

Continue to pray for me and also my ministry in JMYF that God may empower these youths to see, experience and love Him.

"Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him,

we will also live with him;
if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us;
if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself." 2 Timothy 2:11-13

Anyway,
That's my life journey atm...how 'bout yours? If you are reading this post and are facing the same problem, I pray you'll be encouraged by this...

I'm not very articulate...so the things I say might not link...but...yeah...

Some jokes from Readers' Digest to balance out the mood...

Doctor: "Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?"
Patient: "Yes."
Doctor: "So your asthma has gone?"
Patient: "No, but my watch, TV, iPod and laptop have."


Wife: "Honey, did you notice? I bought a new toilet brush."
Husband: "Yes, I did. But I still prefer the paper."

and one from a blog I read...

A student comes to the professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"